Being Brave, Greif, Mental Health

Where did the year go?

Apparently I left off writing in May and never came back. 2021 was a tough one for me. My year started off with my mom in the hospital, then she passed away, and then I gave up on life and myself. I would have probably been better off if I had kept writing.

I never hit any of my weight loss goals. I never checked off items from my bucket list. Instead, I just wallowed in self-pity and never looked back. I preferred to feel sorry for myself, missing my mom terribly along the way. The very sad part of it all, is that my mom would have been so disappointed in me. She would have told me that she was fine and she was no longer suffer, and it was time for me to stop suffering also.

I could tell you that 2022 will be different. I will lose 100 pounds, check off all 20 items on my bucket list and rule the world, but you know how that goes. I won’t even go there. I will tell you that I have come to the realization that my mom isn’t coming back but that doesn’t mean I can’t come back.

Somehow I have managed to function the last 9 months (as of today) without her. Somehow I got a promotion at work and somehow I am seeing rainbows at the edge of all of the darkness. I still miss her. I miss her so much but I also know she would kick my ass for wallowing. She would tell me to get up and get it together. Therefore, I will get it together.

I am going to hold myself more accountable and take a new and lighter approach to life. I have only flipped off one person so far this year and I am feeling pretty good about that (HAHAA) that was on January 3rd.

One day at a time… We are always Better Off Brave!

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