Being Brave, Fears, Greif

There was once a new guy at work

Photo by lilartsy on

I remember the day (very clearly) it was in December of 2019. My department was getting up our Christmas decorations. Everyone was laughing and having a good time. Down the hall I spotted the new guy who had just started.

I pointed out to the ladies unboxing with me “hey that is the new guy in Bob’s department.” I literally said nothing more. There was no way he could have heard me, but I think when everyone in my group turned to look, that changed everything. I am sure it gave him a clear indication that we were talking about him. I regret I ever said a word.

It was nothing more than one line, but that one line changed everything… (I assume)

From that moment on, he seems to despise me. He won’t acknowledge my existence. If he stepped on me, he wouldn’t even notice. If I am in his sight line he finds a way out. It is almost comical.

There are two things I think may have happened. Either he thinks I have a crush on him, or it is because I am overweight. The reason I would lean in this direction (not trying to be that person) is because it seems to be more like he finds me reprehensible verses he just doesn’t like me.

I get not liking me, ignoring me, avoiding and all of that if I gave him a reason to. I would certainly understand that but I haven’t. If people looking at him is the only reason to be so rude (especially when he just started working at a new company) then his problems run deep. If he doesn’t like me because I am overweight, then what can I say? There is nothing I could have done to make him like me.

It not only hurts my feelings but it makes me sad too. My office is always full of people laughing and having a good time because I have that office that people tend to gather. He could have made a friend in me or at least a passing by “how are you doing kind of person,” but instead he has made nothing more than an enemy (said loosely) out of me. I joke enemy but that is truly not the case.  I wouldn’t help him no matter what. I would not vouch for him if needed and I certainly would not recommend him for anything. Petty yes! The reality is that I am higher on the food chain than he is and you never know when you may need someone higher to give a helping hand. The one thing I have learned in the professional world is that you never know when you might need someone’s help and you never burn a bridge. You never know what is around that corner… just some food for thought.

My point to this whole story is there are times nothing you do, or did, will make someone like you. They are not required to like you and you are not required to like them. It would however be nice if you gave them a chance not to like you (snicker snicker). You may exchange glances and know that this person is not “your people.” Not everyone is going to like you and you never know their reasons. I have no interaction in my job with this man. Our departments have nothing to do with one another, but for whatever reason he doesn’t like me. It is rarely something you have done that has made someone dislike you. Most of the time it is just their perception of you or their clear judgement of you that makes them dislike you. It’s easier said than done to say, “don’t take it to heart.” It is human nature to want everyone to like it. Reality is there are some people that are YOUR PEOPLE and there are some people that are not. We were not put on Earth to be people pleasers! Just a reminder that you are always better off being brave.

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